I have just been in California for a week dealing with my mother-in-law’s death and the gaping hole of her absence in the lives of those close to her. And so, I can’t help reading the scriptures for this week through that lens of death and grief, loss and final farewell. But really, that’s the way we all read scripture, isn’t it? We come to the Word of God with our troubles and worries and look for the answers that have always been there - hidden in plain view.
This section of John’s gospel is part of the Last Supper sequence which started in Chapter 13 with Jesus washing his disciple’s feet. This scene takes place Thursday evening, the night before Jesus dies. They are eating the Passover meal together and as they eat, Jesus gives his disciples some final lessons. In this section we read this morning he offers a final prayer on behalf of his disciples.
John’s version of this meal and the following events in the Garden of Gethsemane is quite extended - filling five chapters. Here Jesus predicts that Judas will betray him and that Peter will deny him; he speaks of his coming death and promises to send the Holy Spirit to them. While they are walking to the garden, he tells them of the Vine and the Branches, reminding them to abide in Him and tells them of the things to come at the end of time.
In short, he is giving them a final speech – a deathbed speech like you sometimes see in movies where the person will give advice to those left behind based on their experience of life, maybe they will confess that they were wrong about something or reveal a long hidden secret. I expected such a scene when I traveled to California to be with my mother-in-law Glennis as she was dying. Unfortunately, I didn’t make it in time, she passed before I could see her. But it wouldn’t have made any difference, as I was told she was unconscious and sleeping peacefully under the influence of morphine when she finally took her last breath.
I wanted to be with her because she was always with me through the difficult times I experienced when her son, my first husband, was sick with esophageal cancer for three years before he died in 2006. But these deathbed scenes are not like the movies. In my three separate experiences, the person has been unconscious and non-responsive. So, if you want to get something off your chest – you better not wait until you are dying – because by then it will be too late! And that is what Jesus is doing here – getting everything off his chest – because he knows that he will be dying soon.
In this farewell prayer of Jesus, he tells God the Father, that he has “protected (those)…that you have given me.” Jesus is talking about his disciples, but I couldn’t help thinking about children, the children that God gives us as mothers. Mothers are kind of important. They are the bearers of life and generally the ones who nurture the children. Fathers are important too – but in a different way. There is a reason God is called Father. We’ll talk about fathers next month, but today let us talk about mothers.
Glennis wasn’t my mother, but my mother-in-law - and that’s a different kind of relationship that often is quite contentious. Our relationship was no different, we didn’t agree about a lot of things. After my first husband died, I married again and Steve adopted the kids, changing their name to Duryea. She didn’t agree with the name change, fearing the kids would forget their heritage. But I had to do what I thought was best for my kids, just the way she had to do what she thought was best for her children.
Glennis was a wonderful mother. She had two boys, Clayton and Steven. They were five years apart. Clayton was born healthy, but Steven was born with a cleft lip and palate. As you can imagine, this type of birth defect requires a lot of care. Steven could not suck and so needed to be fed with a spoon. Not only that, but Steven required several surgeries, starting when he was a few months old to repair the defect. This is not something that they talked about a lot, but I imagine there was quite a bit of stress in the family and eventually the father left and Glennis had to care for the two boys alone plus work full time as a dental assistant to support the family. Luckily, she had help from her mother Velma who lived nearby.
Later, when Glennis married Del he brought two teenage boys into the family and one of them, Randy, suffered from dyslexia, deafness and other developmental disabilities that really impacted his school performance. Glennis took him to specialists, taught him to read and helped him get his driver’s license, managing his affairs so that today he is married and working and living independently.
Glennis really excelled at nurturing and caring for people. She spent her career managing a dental office and her home was always immaculately clean. Even at the end of her life, she was caring for her husband with Alzheimer’s - refusing to put him in a care facility. Even though we didn’t always see eye to eye I know she was a caring person, a loving mother and wife and I respect that.
When Jesus prays for his disciples in this intercessory prayer, he demonstrates a care for his disciples that reminds me of how a mother cares for her children. He is preparing them for his death, reminding them of the lessons he taught them while they were together and says a final prayer for them.
In this prayer, Jesus asks God to protect the disciples while they are in this world and to sanctify them in the truth of the Word. He wants the disciples to be one with him and the Father and he asks that they be made complete in joy. This doesn’t sound much different from any mother’s prayer for their children. We ask for safety as they travel through this life with its various dangers, we hope they will continue to practice the ways we have taught them; we would love to have more communication from them but most of all we just want them to be happy!
One lesson we can take away from this section is the importance of preparing for death. Jesus knew he would be dying soon – we are not so lucky to be blessed with the foreknowledge of our death. But that doesn’t mean we can’t prepare for it.
Most of us are aware of the importance of creating a will, some people even make pre-arrangements with the funeral home and that is great. But I learned this week that it would be very helpful for your loved ones if you left a list of all your accounts, preferably with current statements attached. Or at least show someone where you keep your important papers. This would be much better for those left behind so they wouldn’t have to look through all those boxes of papers you have accumulated over the years. Oh, and by the way, you don’t need to keep copies of all of your paid bills and bank statements – especially if they are 30 years old! Just do your kids a favor and throw those away now!
If you have any specific instructions, it would be best to write them down or share them with someone. Without clear final instructions from Glennis, those she left behind are having to muddle through and figure out the next steps for Del, her husband who needs constant care due to Alzheimer’s.
These things are difficult to think about and even more difficult to talk about, but its best to do it now while you are still able. Do it today, for tomorrow is not promised. Follow the example of Jesus. Share a meal and share your memories. Take a walk and remind them of your instructions. Go to the garden and say a prayer for them to continue to walk in truth and for the blessing of the Lord to be upon them all the days of their lives.
The second lesson we can learn from this passage, is how to form our intercessory prayers. Intercessory prayer is a fancy way of saying that we are praying for other people. This is why we have the prayer lists and share our joys and concerns – so that we can pray for other people. We don’t have the words from too many prayers of Jesus, so this extended farewell prayer is pretty special.
The first thing I notice about this prayer is Jesus basically saying: I have done all I can do and now, God, I am giving it to you. I believe that should be the tenor of our prayers too. We should say to God something like this: “I have done everything I can, I have taught them your Word, I have cared for them the best I know how and so now I am giving it to you. I am giving you my worry and my anxiety. I am relinquishing my control of this situation. I am going to trust you to act according to your Goodness and I am not going to micromanage you. Amen”
The second thing I see is that Jesus is praying that the disciples are one with God and that they are sanctified in the Truth of God’s Word. A lot of time our prayers are focused on the body. We pray for people to get well and that they are comforted in their grief, but are we praying for their spiritual life? I have to admit that is not something I think about a lot. But it makes sense that we, as spiritual people, should be praying for the spiritual health of people too. So, as you go to prayer, remember to pray for the presence of the Holy Spirit to be with the person and that God will open their hearts to the working of God’s grace so that they will have abundant joy.
The third thing is in this prayer Jesus asks God to protect the disciples in the world. He doesn’t ask God to take the disciples out of the world, even though it is a dangerous place. This could be understood to mean that all people endure difficult circumstances and some difficult circumstances are necessary. This is hard to hear and hard to accept. We want God to save everyone and end all violence – in short, we want peace on earth. But we live in a fallen world, a world corrupted with sin, a world where evil dwells. This world will not be perfect until the end of time. Until then, we must continue to pray, as Jesus did in the Garden, “not as I will, but as you will” (Matt. 26:39). I am not saying you shouldn’t pray for changed circumstances, because miracles happen every day, but don’t expect it. Follow the example of Jesus and yield your understanding to the will of God.
Jesus demonstrates in this farewell prayer his wishes for the disciples and the nurturing love that God has for his children. God wishes for us all to be safe and grow stronger in our faith and walk the way of Truth so that we may be full of joy. We are familiar with the love of a mother and it is a wonderful thing, but God’s love is deeper and wider and greater. Imagine your mother’s love multiplied by 1,000. I don’t know about you – but my mother was human and sometimes she wasn’t so loving. In this way I expect the love of God to exceed that but I can get a foretaste of this perfect love by remembering the ways my mother showed love to me and the way I feel about my children. As William Makepeace Thackeray writes, ““Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children.”
Prayer
Loving God, we are grateful for your son Jesus and the love that he showed the disciples which demonstrates your love for us. Help us to pray for our brothers and sisters the way Christ prayed for his disciples. Let us remember to pray for their spiritual health and know that when we come to the end of our powers God is there to pick up the slack. Lord, before our life on this earth draws to a close, help us to have the courage to prepare our children for this transition by communicating important information that they will need. Let this be one way in which we show our love for them. We are thankful for our mothers today and every day, as they bear the burden of nurturing the next generation and showing us all the value of love. AMEN
Dawn, thank you for sharing this, and the story of Glennis, and the prayers. I hope you're well.